Inside the DOJO is a series of conversations with people who treat ordinary days as a practice. Gooze is an artist and traveler who keeps returning outdoors — not to disappear, but to come back to himself with more honesty than he left with.
01 Who are you when nobody is asking what you do for work?
Who I am is who I’m striving to be.
Maybe it’s the stage of life I’m in, but that feels like a loaded question. How do I package that in a short answer? I like to tell people I’m just Joe Schmo — just another guy trying his best. The people closest to me would probably scold me for that. They’d say I’m somebody who has constantly found a way to overcome, to persevere, to beat odds. They’d say I’m an artist, that I’m an avid traveler and adventure seeker.
I don’t think there’s much that separates me from the next person aside from maybe a chosen lifestyle. I think who I am is who I’m striving to be. Right now, that’s just a person who is happy, who makes positive impacts on those around him.
02 What does a really good day look like for you — from the moment you wake up to when you call it a night?
A good day starts with a great night.
There’s a variety of versions of that, but let’s say I’m out camping. A good day starts with a great night, so I found a prime spot to camp, wake up bright and early in the middle of an alpine forest in the mountains. I brew some coffee and sip on it in my hammock as I stare at the sun rays beaming through the trees.
Eventually I make breakfast, find my way to an epic hike, struggle my way to the end, and relax at the top while I cook myself a meal to recover. Struggle my way back down — because the best hikes are always a struggle either way — then find somewhere to freshen up before heading to camp. Catch the sunset. Make dinner, preferably a feast, then stargaze as long as I can stay conscious. Yeah, that sounds pretty amazing.
03 When did being outdoors become something you genuinely loved — not just something you did?
I was conscious of its impact. That’s when the love flourished.
Probably when I realized how much happier I was in general when it was a priority in my life. Like most people, my life has been a rollercoaster of highs and lows. As I’ve gotten older and looked back, I’ve noticed there were just certain things that were central to my life when I was the happiest and healthiest. The outdoors was one of them.
Once I became intentional about incorporating the outdoors into my life is when that love really flourished. I always appreciated the outdoors, but this time it was different. I was conscious of its impact in my life, and I felt extreme gratitude for it.
04 You’ve made some pretty funny content around being outdoors. What’s a moment where nature completely humbled you?
Natural selection doesn’t have nature in there by accident.
I think any responsible outdoorsy person approaches nature with absolute humility. It will end you if you’re careless. But the more you’re out there and the more comfortable you get, the more complacent you can become.
Recently I tried hooking up my hammock to a dead tree at the top of a long hike. I’m pretty obsessed with my hammock time, and I knew it was a bad idea, but I was tired and really wanted my hammock by the river. The tree was dead, standing about twelve feet high. I pulled and pushed and it gave a bit, but it felt sturdy enough for me to try it.
I set it, and as soon as I sat in it and let my guard down I heard cracking. Sure enough, here comes Big Bertha — the dead tree — flopping over straight at me. Luckily I pushed off a rock and rolled backwards out of its way. Otherwise it could’ve been real bad. Like rescue-chopper and ninety-thousand-dollar-bill bad, if not worse. A humbling experience, to say the least. Still funny though.
I run towards it rather than running away.
Gooze
05 What are you actually looking for when you go outside: adventure, silence, challenge, escape, connection — or something else entirely?
That’s a game-time decision almost every time, at least when I go solo. Being by myself out there allows me to explore that day to day. I can decide if I want a slow, tranquil day where I just soak in the environment, or if I want to push my limits and test my body and mind with a tough hike. Sometimes I can do both, but really it comes down to reconnecting with myself, and what will help me do that on that specific day.
Other times I go with very specific intentions — photography, or exploration, or a specific hike — but they’re usually loose plans, and I decide when I’m there. I used to think it was to escape. The older I get, the more I realized I run towards it rather than running away from something else.
06 Is there a place you’ve been that changed the way you looked at your own life?
When life gets heavy, I look at the stars and suddenly I’m weightless.
Joshua Tree
Joshua Tree. But it wasn’t really Joshua Tree that made me look at my life differently. It was what Joshua Tree allowed me to see: the night sky. Living in Los Angeles, starry nights aren’t a thing unless you’re talking about the Walk of Fame in Hollywood. The first time I went to Joshua Tree it was a beautiful dark night, and it was the first time I saw the Milky Way.
I remember being in such a tough place in my life — feeling defeated, feeling like my destiny was to survive and I’d never get a chance at living. It was always one thing after the other. Then I stared at the vastness of our galaxy and the blanket of stars that surrounds us and thought, wow, Earth is actually so tiny. And then, wow, I’m tinier.
Something about the realization of how insignificant I was in the grand scheme of it all made all of my problems feel just as small, and made me feel so lucky. What are the chances, in a universe so vast and endless, that we get to exist? And what are the chances that I, throughout space and time, get to experience this existence? Kind of feels like winning the lottery when you put it that way. So when life gets heavy now, I look at the stars and suddenly I’m weightless in space.
07 Discipline gets talked about like it has to be intense. What does discipline actually look like in your everyday life?
Discipline, for my well-being, was an act of self-love.
It looks like consistent actions that benefit my well-being. Discipline was never hard for me. It just didn’t last very long. Usually if you’re trying to be disciplined, there’s an outcome you’re striving for — a goal, short-term or long-term — but often it feels like punishment or sacrifice.
Discipline took on a whole new meaning once I realized that every act of discipline that was for my well-being was actually an act of self-love. I wasn’t punishing myself. I wasn’t giving anything up anymore. I was literally loving myself more every time I decided to do the thing. It became easier to be disciplined once I framed it that way, and was intentional about showing up for myself — which, by the way, is a constant journey of intentional effort.
08 When your mind gets loud — or life simply feels like too much — what genuinely helps you find your way back to yourself?
Present with my thoughts. Not avoiding them.
On solitude
I’ve found that solitude really helps me. Not the type where I’m alone re-watching every season of New Girl or doomscrolling on my phone. The type of solitude where I’m present with my thoughts and feelings, not avoiding them. Once I allow myself to look inwards, I can begin to understand where my priorities lie and what’s actually important to me. It allows me to zoom out of my own thoughts and gain clarity, eventually allowing me to find a path forward.
09 What have you learned about trying your best on the days when your best honestly isn’t very good?
Give 100% of what you have today.
I’ve learned to give myself grace. Life is hard enough without me setting this unreasonable bar that is just going to burn me out more, quicker. I remind myself that today I may not have 100% to give, but I have to give 100% of what I do have. Some days that’s 50%. Some days that’s 75. Every day we lean on gratitude and do what we can.
Recently, it’s also been about recognizing those days and being intentional about setting myself up for a better one. Maybe it’s better sleep. Or food. Or thoughts, even. Whatever it is, we work on having better days — not expecting them to just happen.
10 We believe you never really arrive — you return to the practice. What’s something in your life you’re still practicing?
One day at a time. One act at a time. One thought at a time.
Self-love. It was a hard pill to swallow once I realized it and said it out loud, but I’ve spent most of my life basically hating myself. Hiding behind insecurities and fear, compensating by sacrificing so much for others just to feel worthy. Don’t even get me started with the people pleasing. They all felt like good things I was doing, and though my heart was in the right place, I realized at the bottom of rock bottom that all I was doing was abandoning myself.
It’s a constant battle of unlearning a lifetime of old thinking and bad habits. But one day at a time, one act at a time, one thought at a time, I’m learning to love myself the way I’ve always deserved to — and it feels like it’s unlocked a whole new life for me.
And ironically enough, the moment I began to love myself and to set boundaries, the better off I was, and the better off people around me began to be also. It just goes to show that sometimes the things we’ve convinced ourselves make us bad people can be exactly what we need to be the best versions of ourselves.
I’m learning to love myself the way I’ve always deserved to.
Still practicing